I have to first apologize for the one month hiatus. My sweet, sleepy little newborn decided to turn into a rambunctious, nap-fighting beast in the last few weeks so I spend most of my days trying to coaxe my baby into taking 20-30 minute naps until my dogs decide a shadow is worth waking the baby over to kickstart the cycle all over again – turning me into an actual crazy person.
Speaking of crazy person, on top of all the other struggles of dealing with a newborn (no sleep, the constant feedings, your body is in shambles, etc etc), they really manage to turn your relationship upside down. Here’s how:
You’ll fall in love all over again. There’s nothing sweeter than seeing your partner love and care for your baby. I think I cried for the entire first week every time I saw my hubby hold our baby. It made me so proud to have created this incredible family and I swear my heart has grown 10 sizes because of it.
Your fuse will inevitably be short with each other. When you combine sleep deprivation, anxiety over being new parents, and trying to figure out your respective new roles in the household, a fair share of bickering is bound to happen. You will have even sillier fights than before and there will be days where it seems like everything the other person does pisses you off. Also, when your baby wakes you up to nurse for the fourth time in three hours while your husband sleeps soundly in the room next door, you may resent him for his worthless nipples. Just sayin’.
Pass the baby becomes your new favourite pastime. After you’ve been home all day consumed by an endless cycle of eat-play-poop-sleep you resist the urge to practically chuck your baby at your partner the second they come home and run for the hills. You’re constantly trading the baby so the other person can get things done. Or to keep your sanity when they’ve been fussing and crying for hours on end.
You have to become teammates. I get up every morning ready for battle. Every day will present a new challenge that will test my patience and willpower. And it’s really hard to face it alone. When you’re trying to juggle babies, jobs, cleaning the house, making food, dogs, grocery shopping etc etc it’s absolutely essential to divide and conquer. You have to be a team – a united front – and figure out who needs to do what to keep the wheels turning.
You have to manage your expectations. And know that you will never get this time back with your baby. I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss spending quality alone time with my husband and having conversations that revolve around anything other than poopie diapers and sleep training tactics. You start to wonder if you’ll ever feel like your old selves again romantically. But we have to remind ourselves that this time with our babies is fleeting. And while it’s still very important to invest in your relationship and make time for each other, soon our tiny tots will be fighting for their independence and mom and dad will have more time together to worry about what their children are getting up to. Like most things in life, this too shall pass.
Or so I’m told ;).